Hunter
by jenniblu421
Summary: On their flight to Italy Alice tells Bella that there was a bad hour: Edward had decided to go hunting in Voltera. This is his bad hour from Edward's point of view. Something a little different and one that I have never seen written before. One-shot.


EPOV

Song recommendation: Hunter by 30 Seconds to Mars

* * *

"He's at the funeral."

That sentence played again and again in my head.

"He's at the funeral."

I could not get it to stop. It was haunting me, twisting and tearing at my insides bit by bit.

The funeral. _Her_ funeral.

I stood motionless in the shadows of a small cobblestone street, unmoving. Waiting. Watching. The people went on about their early morning routines unaware of the hunter in their midst, safe in their own thoughts that I did not try to discern. Their thoughts, their voices, it was all noise. Unimportant. These were not people, these were the prey. I was the hunter.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the essence of the life all around me, trying to feel something. Feel the burn. There was no burn. There was nothing but the crippling force of loss heavy in my dead heart. The pain of thirst was nothing. Nothing compared to her. To her loss. It was unbearable. I would turn myself over to my instincts, holding on to my humanity hurt too much. Let the monster take over. Human thoughts led to inhuman pain. This pain…this pain was unimaginable. It was unendurable. Humans could not have beared this pain; they would physically break from the force of it. Crumble. And human I was not, yet I could not even function with such grief.

But still…

She made me human, she made me better. The best I have ever been. The one good thing life had to offer, without her life is unbearable agony. How do you keep the humanity when the best part of who you were is gone. I am nothing now, a true animated corpse. A vampire. Cursed to exist when I wanted nothing more than to soothe the pain, to wrap my arms around the one I love and tell her that I lied. To save her. I would do anything to save her…

There was no relief from this agony. I could only hope that when I ceased to exist that the pain would go too. To live forever with this—no, there must be some relief. Something. Anything.

My love in all her fragile glass-like perfection. She was perfect. Perfect for me. Her warm hand fit perfectly in mine. The warmth coming off of her skin in waves felt like perfection. Her sleeping voice as she murmured my name… told me she loved me. And I destroyed her as completely as if I had attacked her that first day. In a way I did. I was careless with her in the worst kind of way and her blood was on my hands. She died without knowing the truth. She died without knowing she carried my heart with her. When she flung herself off of that cliff she not only destroyed herself but me as well. She carried my existence with her every single day of her too short life and she didn't even know it. I had made sure that she didn't know it. The moment she met me her days were numbered but had I known how short that number would be, I would have stayed. Nothing could have pulled me away had I known it would end this way. Nothing.

I choked back a sob.

I was a truly vile creature, deplorable in every way. I was more careless with her life than I had any right to be. This was worse than allowing James near her. That I could fight, but this… I destroyed her.

No. Worse. I made her destroy herself. I took away my love, ripped my presence from her life. I took away her choices, her friends, the family she had chosen. But I did it all to save her… to save her. Even if I still loved her more than her human heart could understand she did not know it. I made her believe that I didn't love her. I am worst than the worst. I led an angel to give up her wings. I ripped them from her as surely as if I had bitten her. But at least her soul was intact. The one thing I left her, the one thing I did not rip away.

But there had to be a place in heaven for one such as her. Surly God would allow her clemency despite her death. This is entirely my fault.

But why?! She promised. PROMISED! Did I mean so little that she could break her promise so easily?

As soon as the thought passed through my brain I felt a shock. How hypocritical of me. I have absolutely no room to talk. I promised her that I would stay until she no longer wanted me. I was a fool. I killed the only thing that mattered in my life. I am no better than the men I once killed who toyed with women, pawed at them for sport and took everything that they would have never willingly given.

I am the same. I took Bella's life.

But she gave it to me. She always told me to do with her what I will. She offered herself up to me and I spit on her. I made her feel unloved, something one such as her should have never felt.

I robbed Charlie Swan of his only daughter. I remembered his panic, his pain from that fateful day of the accident. I killed an entire family in one blow. Alice was right when she told me that should I kill her I would also kill him. Yet another life on my hands. Would my hands never be free from blood? Not likely considering what I am about to do… What's another life?

What was it like for her? Did she scream? Did she cry? The only wish I can have for her now is peace in heaven. She deserves nothing less. I pray to God, whether he listens to monsters or not, that she did not suffer. I only remember the pain of transformation through my death, not the death itself. I was reborn instead of dying as I should have. Oh if I would have died as I was meant to then Bella – Ahhh! The agony in the simple word that is her name —would be alive.

Bella.

My Bella.

Though, she is no longer mine is she? I made sure of that thoroughly, didn't I? I was foolish and naive.

The Volturi should take their time with me. Rip me apart piece by piece. I deserve nothing less. I should have been the one to die on that cliff. Not her.

Not her…

I could hear them. They were waiting for me to make my move. Weary of the chaos they knew that I would create. I gave them their opportunity. They could have chosen the simple path.

Waste indeed.

They denied me the only solace I have. Death. If I could but glimpse Bella before they throw me into hell… But I should not consider that. No. If I were to cease feeling that would merely be enough. As it was I feared I will be stuck with this misery for all of time. How could death be enough to erase the pain that Bella's death left behind? I doubted that it would be…

But, I cannot live if she is not living as well. I deserved the pain that her death caused, but I would not bare an eternity of it. I could not…

And so I would go hunting. Let them destroy me but let me expose us for what we are first. We are monsters. We kill in order to thrive.

She never saw the monster that I am and for that she died.

She was everything I am not. Pure.

I am a hunter. I am a monster. I am dead. I am damned…

I shifted from my place in the shadows. There were more people around now. More to choose from. But that did not matter. I simply needed to expose myself for what I am. Show the world my nature. The murderer of purity, of goodness.

Even at my worst I never killed the innocent. Who would have thought that the one I swore my life to protect would be the first innocent blood spilled by my hands.

I crouched as a young girl walked by. So close. She was so close.

I inhaled again, searching for the burn. There it was. I shifted forward. This was it. Let the world see me for what I am.

And then I was there in front of her and I couldn't move. I was still long enough for her eyes to widen. Her breathing hitched.

I could see myself reflected in her flat brown eyes just as I had once in Bella's warm ones. The differences between Bella and this girl were staggering despite the brown hair and eyes. Bella was truly one of a kind… And she loved me.

She loved me.

I was the one she said yes to. I could not disappoint her further. Even in death Bella did not deserve a murderer. Not that I could ever deserve Bella but to murder another innocent was not an option. I already had too much pure blood on my hands. The girl might be someone's Bella. Could I destroy them as thoroughly as I had been destroyed? I would not wish this pain on anyone. And so I turned around and walked away. I would die another way.

* * *

Hey guys,

I am sure that most of you are convinced that I have forgotten about you, but that is not the case, I promise. I don't know if any of you have ever worked as a reporter, but trust me whe I say that you have no time for yourself.

I am really nervous about this one-shot. I put a lot into it and I hope that you all like it. Please let me know what you think. With this one particularly, I feel like I need to know what you think. This is not a scene that I have ever seen written about and that both excites and terrifies me.

Much love!

Jenn


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